Writers Block

She sat at her window, notebook in hand. She wanted to write, no, she needed to write. Her hand shook in anticipation of the words it would form. Her ears perked in hope of hearing the soft scratch of graphite on the clean white paper. There was only one problem; she had writer's block. She tried everything she could think of to dislodge it, drabbles, free writing, walking away, but nothing worked. She knew what she wanted to write about. She wanted to write about what she liked and what she didn't like, her hopes and dreams, what she knew, and what she didn't know, what she wanted to know, and what she didn't want to know, thought she knew, thought she wanted to know and didn't. Yet when she put pencil to paper, nothing. Her mind went blank.

She always preferred pencil to pen. That's because she doesn't use pens to write. Pens are too permanent. Stories aren't meant to be permanent. they're meant to grow and change, just like the characters in them. If they didn't change they wouldn't be stories, they'd be fictional facts. With pencil, she could mold the story how she saw fit. She could feel the words as they flowed from her mind to her hand. Writing was her escape from the world. Where she could say what she wanted without worrying of consequences. It was her lifeline. When she couldn't say it she would write it. She could be who she wanted. A princess in some far off land, a warrior in battle, a peasant on the streets, a singer on Broadway. She could take revenge on enemies. Turn them into whomever she pleased, mocked them to fit her fancy. And here she sat, in the middle of the night, with pencil and paper and no idea what to say. The with a smile on her face, she placed the sharp graphite tip on the paper and began to write. She wrote what she knew at that point: Her writer's block.

Lil Shawty

Been my boy
all these years
Never thought things would change
you couldn't see me
in another light
I was your homegirl
your ma, lil shawty
but i could never be your lady

There was always an excuse
something standing in my way
until that day
your actions changed
and i began to wonder
maybe...baby

Maybe i could be
your baby, I could
stop your pain
put an end to the heartache
but then you regress
and i'm your lil shawty
all over again

An Accident

It wasn't supposed to happen this way. It was an accident, a stupid, clumsy accident. Yeah he's hot, and of course he's charming, and I guess you could say he's a good dancer. But it wasn't how I imagined it would happen. Our eyes didn't lock, he didn't caress my cheek and pull me in gently. Nothing like that. It was sudden, and awkward, and just a complete mistake.

He was saying good-bye to everyone at the party and I was sitting near the top the basement stairs just watching . I didn't know anyone other than the host; my best friend had bounced a while ago. He passed me as he left and leaned down to say good bye and give me a peck on the cheek. Then he left. I just sat there thinking, getting lost in my head. A few moments later he doubled back. He had left his CDs and came back to get them. When he left again I went to return the peck. I wasn't trying to kiss him, I was just saying good bye. But my dumb-ass missed. I closed my eyes too soon and instead of making contact with his cheek, I landed on his lips and froze. I just met this guy. What the hell was I doing kissing him? Pulling back, I mumbled an apology and I swear I saw smoke coming from his shoes as he left.

It wasn't supposed to happen like this. It was an accident; sudden, and awkward, and just not how I wanted my first kiss to happen.

Para alguien que no es tan especial que pense

Te di mi amor
Pero no lo quisiste
Te ofrecí alegría
Tampoco lo quisiste
Por lo menos no con migo
Te regale ternura
peor no te importo
Te doy, y ofrezco, y regalo
y que me das?
Nada!
Que me regalas?
Nada!
Todo que quise era
un poco de amor
de alegría
de ternura
Pero no te importo
Es mucho que pedir?
Aparentemente para ti si es.
Bueno no te preocupes
porque ya se la verdad
Parece que no soy tan despistada que pensaste.

And for those who don't speak spanish:

I gave you love
But you didn't want it
I offered happiness
But you didn't want that either
At least not with me
I imparted you kindness
But you didn't care
I give and I offer and impart
and what do you give me?
nothing!
what do you offer me?
nothing!
What do you impart?
nothing!
All I wanted was
a little love
a little happiness
a little kindness
But you didn't care
was that too much to ask?
Apparently for you it was
Well don't worry
because I'm not asking you for it anymore
because now I know the truth
I guess I'm not as clueless as you thought.

El que quiero

"Sabes que dice?"
"Besame"

Desde ese día me enamore de ti
Desde ese día yo supe quien quise para mi
Desde ese día hasta hoy yo se que eres el que quiero para mi.


Tantas días y tantas noches he pasado pensando en ti
He pasado pensando en tus abrazos
He pasado pensando en tus ojos
He pasado pensando en tus labios, y tu sonrisa, y tu piel
Y el día que me miraste en mis ojos
fue el día que me enamore de ti

Desde ese dia yo quise estar en tus brazos
y desde ese dia yo supe que jamas encontrare mejor pareja
Y no tienes que preocuparte porque jamas me ire
Tu amor es todo lo que necesito y todo lo que quiero


Tantas días y tantas noches he pasado pensando en ti
He pasado pensando en tus abrazos
He pasado pensando en tus ojos
He pasado pensando en tus labios, y tu sonrisa, y tu piel
Y el día que me miraste en mis ojos
fue el día que me enamore de ti

Y ese día cambio mi vida
no importa que sucede
porque siempre te amare
porque tu eres el que quiero
el que quiero par mi

And for those of you that dont speak english here's the translation

"Do you know what it says?"
"Kiss me"

Ever since that day I've fallen in love with you
since that day I knew that who I wanted for me
since that day til today I know that you are the one for me

I've spent so many days and nights thinking of you
I've thought about your hugs
I've thought about you're eyes
I've thought about you lips, and your smile, and your skin
And the day you looked into my eyes
was the day I fell in love with you

Ever since that day I've wanted to be in you're arms
and since that day I knew I'de never find a better partner
and you don't have to worry because I won't ever leave
You're love is all I need and it's all I want

I've spent so many days and nights thinking of you
I've thought about your hugs
I've thought about you're eyes
I've thought about you lips, and your smile, and your skin
And the day you looked into my eyes
was the day I fell in love with you

And that day changed my life
it doesn't matter what happens
because I'll always love you
because you're the one I want
the one I want for me.

How

How do you tell someone you really like how you feel
When you don't even know if he feels the same way?
When your terrified of rejection...
of humiliation...
of being hurt...
again.

How do you put yourself out there
when experience tells you
your not pretty enough...
smart enough...
interesting enough...
enough.

How can you take that chance
when you know that someone somewhere
can snatch him away from you in an instant
and your left
mending a broken heart
patching it up with the ban-aids of your friends support.

How?

The Rose

One day we were together
And I had the world
And now we're apart
And all I have left is this rose.
A silk rose to remember you by.
A fake rose...
Fake, just like you

And now I'm left to wonder,
Did he ever really love me,
or was it all just a joke?
Was he telling the truth,
Or was it all just a lie?
A lie he made up
to amuse himself at my expense?

Looking back I guess I know the answer,
But I'm too afraid to admit it.
I'm too scared to admit that
I was just the butt of his cruel joke,
Nothing more.

And deep inside I wish it wasn't true.
I wish that those nights together meant
More to him than they actually did.

Because then it would mean that
Everything I did for him
Wasn't pointless.
That every gesture he ever made
Wasn't empty.

But deep inside I know what we had
Wasn't real.
And now I wish that I could turn back time
And return to all that.
Not to erase it, but to re-live it.

Because to you those moments may have had no meaning
But to me they were filled with hope.
To you those nights may just have been to pass that time
But to me they were to fill the void I felt when you weren't there.

Amazing moments,
But now they're gone.
And all I'm left with is a rose.
A single rose to remember you by.
A silk rose,
Beautiful, and so realistic,
But still so fake.
Just like your love.