Torn

Another fight

third time this week

He's left alone

His outlook bleak

She used to love him

She used to care

Now she yells

that he's never there

But there's another 

stealing his heart

As damaged as he

he loved her from the start

Like sunshine after a sudden storm

her smile brightened his day

Like a breath of fresh air on a humid day

her innocence gave him hope

She gave and gave 

and asked for nothing in return

She was his other half 

his lover

his friend

But as strong a love 

he had for his lover

he still had love 

for his girl

He had seen him through dark times

and fought for him in turn

Torn between two women

If only he could see

How wrong his girl was for him

and how right his lover could be...

A childhood never forgotten

I'm from Caperusita Roja, Cri-Cri, and Chilindrina
I'm from Richmond and Sixty-fourth
and playing on the back porch,
tag and mother may I,
one hundred Barbie dolls
 and never finding her left shoe.
I'm from bestest friends forever
and losing your bestest friend.

I'm from clean-up, clean up, everybody, everywhere
and getting into my mother's make-up,
making a huge mess,
but thinking I look fabulous.
From being raised at work with mom and dad
and never wanting to leave
and everyone there saying hi
and not knowing a single one of them.

I'm from seventy-seventh and Trumbull
and weekends at Ford City Mall.
From being home before the streetlights came on,
and sleepovers with my friends,
giggling and gossiping,
excited about the school year to come,
hoping we don't end with the mean teacher.

I'm from hot spicy posole in the winter
and tamales de dulce at Christmas with my whole family,
sharing stories of holidays past and life in Mexico,
hearing about my dad's adventures,
and wishing I could do the same.
From every girl is a princess,
and Nancy Drew Mystery Stories,
imagining what it would be like to solve a mystery with my best friends.

From meeting that best friend that changes your life,
and finding out who your real friends are.
Mrs. B and Just Us Kids with the craziest people I have ever met,
flying to Philadelphia,
and winning second place in the choir competition.

I'm from NJROTC
and we are all one big dysfunctional family.
From cotillions, and falling in love for the first time,
and losing that love,
experiencing my first true heartbreak,
wondering if I'd ever be able to move on,
asking myself if I should stay friends with him
From S.P.E.W. and fanfiction,
knowing, how silly it really is, but not caring.

From learning how to cook like my mom learned in Oaxaca
and Gallery 37,
having to make it to Randolph and Wabash in time to eat and change,
so that I can set up my station and
getting an eight inch knife before they run out.

From college application, and scholarships,
wondering how I'll be able to pay for school
because I do not have forty thousand dollars in the bank,
my childhood ending, scared,
asking myself, "How am I going to survive in the real world?",
knowing I'll have to leave home soon.

I am the robin, learning how to spread my wings, anxious to learn to fly,
the time approaching for the mother bird to push the baby out of the nest.

Writers Block

She sat at her window, notebook in hand. She wanted to write, no, she needed to write. Her hand shook in anticipation of the words it would form. Her ears perked in hope of hearing the soft scratch of graphite on the clean white paper. There was only one problem; she had writer's block. She tried everything she could think of to dislodge it, drabbles, free writing, walking away, but nothing worked. She knew what she wanted to write about. She wanted to write about what she liked and what she didn't like, her hopes and dreams, what she knew, and what she didn't know, what she wanted to know, and what she didn't want to know, thought she knew, thought she wanted to know and didn't. Yet when she put pencil to paper, nothing. Her mind went blank.

She always preferred pencil to pen. That's because she doesn't use pens to write. Pens are too permanent. Stories aren't meant to be permanent. they're meant to grow and change, just like the characters in them. If they didn't change they wouldn't be stories, they'd be fictional facts. With pencil, she could mold the story how she saw fit. She could feel the words as they flowed from her mind to her hand. Writing was her escape from the world. Where she could say what she wanted without worrying of consequences. It was her lifeline. When she couldn't say it she would write it. She could be who she wanted. A princess in some far off land, a warrior in battle, a peasant on the streets, a singer on Broadway. She could take revenge on enemies. Turn them into whomever she pleased, mocked them to fit her fancy. And here she sat, in the middle of the night, with pencil and paper and no idea what to say. The with a smile on her face, she placed the sharp graphite tip on the paper and began to write. She wrote what she knew at that point: Her writer's block.

Lil Shawty

Been my boy
all these years
Never thought things would change
you couldn't see me
in another light
I was your homegirl
your ma, lil shawty
but i could never be your lady

There was always an excuse
something standing in my way
until that day
your actions changed
and i began to wonder
maybe...baby

Maybe i could be
your baby, I could
stop your pain
put an end to the heartache
but then you regress
and i'm your lil shawty
all over again

An Accident

It wasn't supposed to happen this way. It was an accident, a stupid, clumsy accident. Yeah he's hot, and of course he's charming, and I guess you could say he's a good dancer. But it wasn't how I imagined it would happen. Our eyes didn't lock, he didn't caress my cheek and pull me in gently. Nothing like that. It was sudden, and awkward, and just a complete mistake.

He was saying good-bye to everyone at the party and I was sitting near the top the basement stairs just watching . I didn't know anyone other than the host; my best friend had bounced a while ago. He passed me as he left and leaned down to say good bye and give me a peck on the cheek. Then he left. I just sat there thinking, getting lost in my head. A few moments later he doubled back. He had left his CDs and came back to get them. When he left again I went to return the peck. I wasn't trying to kiss him, I was just saying good bye. But my dumb-ass missed. I closed my eyes too soon and instead of making contact with his cheek, I landed on his lips and froze. I just met this guy. What the hell was I doing kissing him? Pulling back, I mumbled an apology and I swear I saw smoke coming from his shoes as he left.

It wasn't supposed to happen like this. It was an accident; sudden, and awkward, and just not how I wanted my first kiss to happen.

Para alguien que no es tan especial que pense

Te di mi amor
Pero no lo quisiste
Te ofrecí alegría
Tampoco lo quisiste
Por lo menos no con migo
Te regale ternura
peor no te importo
Te doy, y ofrezco, y regalo
y que me das?
Nada!
Que me regalas?
Nada!
Todo que quise era
un poco de amor
de alegría
de ternura
Pero no te importo
Es mucho que pedir?
Aparentemente para ti si es.
Bueno no te preocupes
porque ya se la verdad
Parece que no soy tan despistada que pensaste.

And for those who don't speak spanish:

I gave you love
But you didn't want it
I offered happiness
But you didn't want that either
At least not with me
I imparted you kindness
But you didn't care
I give and I offer and impart
and what do you give me?
nothing!
what do you offer me?
nothing!
What do you impart?
nothing!
All I wanted was
a little love
a little happiness
a little kindness
But you didn't care
was that too much to ask?
Apparently for you it was
Well don't worry
because I'm not asking you for it anymore
because now I know the truth
I guess I'm not as clueless as you thought.

El que quiero

"Sabes que dice?"
"Besame"

Desde ese día me enamore de ti
Desde ese día yo supe quien quise para mi
Desde ese día hasta hoy yo se que eres el que quiero para mi.


Tantas días y tantas noches he pasado pensando en ti
He pasado pensando en tus abrazos
He pasado pensando en tus ojos
He pasado pensando en tus labios, y tu sonrisa, y tu piel
Y el día que me miraste en mis ojos
fue el día que me enamore de ti

Desde ese dia yo quise estar en tus brazos
y desde ese dia yo supe que jamas encontrare mejor pareja
Y no tienes que preocuparte porque jamas me ire
Tu amor es todo lo que necesito y todo lo que quiero


Tantas días y tantas noches he pasado pensando en ti
He pasado pensando en tus abrazos
He pasado pensando en tus ojos
He pasado pensando en tus labios, y tu sonrisa, y tu piel
Y el día que me miraste en mis ojos
fue el día que me enamore de ti

Y ese día cambio mi vida
no importa que sucede
porque siempre te amare
porque tu eres el que quiero
el que quiero par mi

And for those of you that dont speak english here's the translation

"Do you know what it says?"
"Kiss me"

Ever since that day I've fallen in love with you
since that day I knew that who I wanted for me
since that day til today I know that you are the one for me

I've spent so many days and nights thinking of you
I've thought about your hugs
I've thought about you're eyes
I've thought about you lips, and your smile, and your skin
And the day you looked into my eyes
was the day I fell in love with you

Ever since that day I've wanted to be in you're arms
and since that day I knew I'de never find a better partner
and you don't have to worry because I won't ever leave
You're love is all I need and it's all I want

I've spent so many days and nights thinking of you
I've thought about your hugs
I've thought about you're eyes
I've thought about you lips, and your smile, and your skin
And the day you looked into my eyes
was the day I fell in love with you

And that day changed my life
it doesn't matter what happens
because I'll always love you
because you're the one I want
the one I want for me.